


Close as Strangers

by berettajane



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fatherhood, Fluff and Angst, Football Player Louis, Heart-to-Heart, Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Marriage, Married Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Parent-Child Relationship, Post-Band, Post-Canon, Same-Sex Marriage, Stay-At-Home Parent Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 08:44:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7260586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berettajane/pseuds/berettajane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shortly after celebrating their sixth year together, Louis proposed to Harry in front of the Eiffel Tower during a romantic getaway in Paris.  Harry had always been in love with the country, language, and culture, so Louis knew that it would be the perfect place to profess his undying love and the need to spend the rest of his life with Harry.  They held a small ceremony nearly six months later, and their daughter, Madeline Claire Tomlinson, followed shortly thereafter.  They were absolutely smitten and there weren't a happier pair of people in the world.</p><p> </p><p>Louis and Harry start a family together.  Harry grows frustrated and lonely as Louis drifts further away from the family and home they had built together.  One night, it gets to be too much for Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by 5 Seconds of Summer's song titled Close as Strangers
> 
> I don't own any pictures used.

                                                                              

 

 

Things couldn't have been more tense in the Tomlinson household as Harry and Louis' tenth anniversary together was fast approaching.  They had managed to stick together through five grueling years of non-stop touring the world, bring their music to millions of people.  After their contract ended, they didn't know what to do with themselves.  They took a few months off, waking up next to each other every morning, their limbs intertwined.  Louis was the first to go stir-crazy as he had never been much of a home-body.  He had always went here, there, and everywhere, even before he was given the amazing opportunity to do that literally, falling madly in love with Harry Styles in the process. 

They were forced to keep their love hidden for the first six years of their relationship.  Between the fire-breathing dragon that was Modest!Management and the ever-growing tension surrounding the LGBTQ community world-wide, their relationship remained under wraps.  The band had never been silent about their support for the community, even though they were forced to remain silent about their true selves.  Their burning love wasn't hidden from everyone, though.  Many fans had noticed the stolen glances and ever-light touches that were intended to be hidden behind the bodies of their bandmates or when they were walking in a crowd into a building.  Eventually the pressure from management had gotten too much, nearly ripping the pair apart. 

Harry and Louis had decided to rebel as secretly as they could, from "leaking" photos and videos of them kissing in pubs to setting up social media accounts for rainbow-colored bears dressed in BDSM gear that had "suddenly appeared" at each of their shows. 

Shortly after celebrating their sixth year together, Louis proposed to Harry in front of the Eiffel Tower during a romantic getaway in Paris.  Harry had always been in love with the country, language, and culture, so Louis knew that it would be the perfect place to profess his undying love and the need to spend the rest of his life with Harry.  They held a small ceremony nearly six months later, and their daughter, Madeline Claire Tomlinson, followed shortly thereafter.  They were absolutely smitten and there weren't a happier pair of people in the world.

 

                                                                       

 

Nearly three years had passed since they had moved to Doncaster to be closer to Louis' family, buying a beautiful home to grow their family in.  Louis was soon recruited by the Doncaster Rovers and Harry became a stay-at-home father to Maddy. 

Louis' schedule with the Rovers was hectic; he often came home late to his dinner cling-wrapped on the table with their daughter asleep on his husband's chest, snoring softly together.  When he would set aside time for Harry, he would often have to step away to take important phone calls from his coach or various charities he had become involved in since One Direction had become a world-wide phenomenon.

Now, it seemed that they had become stuck in a routine--a rut.  When Louis was home, he would be on his phone instead of watching the movie together as a family.  His efforts to help Harry with their two-year-old daughter had severely declined, and Harry was beginning to feel the pressure of raising the handful that was their curious daughter on his own while Louis did what he could to support their family.

 

Harry cleared the dishes from dinner, stopping when tears threaten to overtake him.  He hangs his head, shutting his eyes tightly and letting out a deep breath as he grips the edge of the counter with both hands.  Louis looks up from the t.v., turning his attention to Harry.

"What is it, Haz?" Louis says with furrowed eyebrows.  
"Maddie and I are going to stay at my mum's tonight," Harry states, not daring to turn to see the pained look on Louis' face.  
"What?  Haz, it's an hour and a half away.  It's already half-past eight.  Maddie's already down for the night.  We'll see her this weekend, babe." Louis says, turning back to the t.v.  
Harry turns around, an incredulous look on his face as he crosses his arms over his chest, getting defensive.  "I don't care, Lou.  Maddie and I are going to stay at my mum's house tonight.  Gemma's in town for the next few days and she's dying to see Maddie."  
Louis let out a frustrated breath, turning the t.v. off and setting the remote down on the table roughly.  "And it can't wait until morning, why?  I'm exhausted, Haz.  We'll drive up there first thing tomorrow morning, I promise."

As much as Harry would've loved to get into a screaming match with Louis, setting all of his thoughts out on table at that moment, he didn't want to wake Maddie.  He pushed off of the counter, walking briskly to the bedroom that he shared with Louis.  He grabbed a small duffle bag that had already been packed at the top of his closet.  He went to the bathroom to throw a few toiletries in the bag before zipping it up and heading across the hall to Maddie's room.  The door had been left open so they could hear her if she woke up while they were in the other room.

Harry stepped into Maddie's room, careful not to disturb the sleeping toddler.  He reached under her crib, his hand easily finding the pink duffle bag he had packed for her a few days ago.  Throwing it over his shoulder, he let down the front of Maddie's crib, pausing to stare at her little face for a moment before slowly picking her up and wrapping his arms around her still sleeping form before walking back into the main room. 

The heartbreak was written all over Louis' face at the sight of the love of his life gathering his wallet, keys, and phone at the front door with packed bags and their little girl pressed against his chest.

"Haz?" Louis whispered, standing from his seat.  "Hazza, what are you doing? Where are you going, baby?"  Louis made his way over to Harry, who hadn't so much as turned to Louis' words.  "Harry?" Louis' voice broke as he gently touched Harry's arm, stopping him so he could step in front of him and look into his eyes.  "Where are you going?"  
"I told you, Lou.  I'm going to my mum's and I'm taking Maddie with me,"  Harry said, attempting to side-step Louis to reach for the front door, but he was blocked by Louis.  
"Let me pack a bag, love.  We'll leave in five minutes," Louis said quickly, jogging over to the entrance of their bedroom.  
"Lou...Don't bother.  It's just me and Maddie going." Harry said, turning to face Louis as hot tears betrayed him, running down his cheeks.  
"But when are you coming back?  Harry, what's going on?" a tiny sob escaped Louis' throat as the reality of the situation was beginning to hit him.  
"I don't know, Lou.  I love you, but I just think we just need some time apart.  I'll call you in a few days," Harry said quickly, slipping out of the front door.  
"Har--wait!  Harry!" Louis yelled, dropping to his knees as waves of sobs came over him, his heart ripping in two as he watched his daughter and husband leave their home with no intentions of bringing him or coming back.

 

Harry walked quickly up the sidewalk, opening the door to his SUV quietly before setting Maddie in her car seat gently.

"Daddy?" a little voice came from the sleepy toddler.  Maddie reached up to rub her tired eyes with her little hands.  She looked around as she realized she was in the car now, not in her bed.  "Daddy, where's Papa?"

Harry inhaled deeply to speak with a steady voice so as not to startle her.  "Papa has another game this weekend out of town, so we're going to go see Aunt Gemma and Nana for a few days,"  Harry finished buckling her in, throwing the duffle bags in the passenger seat before shutting her door and climbing in the driver's side, starting the car quickly and pulling out of the driveway.

"Daddy, why can't Papa come with us?  Why can't he come see Nana and Gemgem with us?" the toddler's voice took a sad tone as she pouted in the back seat, tired and confused.  
"Because, sweetie.  He can't miss a game or he gets in trouble.  We'll have loads of fun with Nana and Gemgem until Papa gets back from his game.

Harry makes the 90 minute trek to his mother's house with one hand over his mouth to muffle his sobs as soft music played through the car speakers, lulling Maddie to sleep.

 

When he pulled into her driveway, Gemma and Anne opened the door, smiling as Harry carefully maneuvered Maddie out of her seat.  Gemma ran down the driveway to meet him, kissing his cheek as she pried Maddie's arms from around her daddy's neck, kissing her hair before walking her into the house.  Harry grabbed their bags, walking up to meet his mother on her porch.  He stopped in front of her, finally meeting her eyes after a moment, breaking down again at the sad look in her eye.

"Oh, Harry, my dear," she said, wrapping her arms around the broken man that was her son.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Louis, calm down. You'd wake her in the state you're in right now. We need to talk, Lou," Harry said, pushing Louis gently out of his face.  
> "I promise, I'll do anything you want, Haz. I'll quit the team this minute. We can sell the house and find something in Holmes Chapel. I don't care, just please don't leave, baby. I will beg on my knees if that's what you want--just come back to me. Please," Louis said, hyperventilating as he took Harry's hands in his, pressing them over his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own any pictures used!  
> All photos of "Maddie" that are used are actually Lux, Lou Teasedale's daughter.

 

                                                                             

 

Gemma laid Maddie down in Anne's bed, surrounding her with pillows and leaving the baby monitor on the nightstand in case Robin didn't wake up if she cried.  Gemma walked back into the living room, taking a glass of wine from her mother's outstretched hand before climbing on the other side of her brother on the couch.  Harry had never felt so surrounded by love and so alone at the same time.

"We're here whenever you're ready to talk, dear," Anne said, rubbing Harry's shoulder while he stared off into space.  He didn't want to tear apart his family, but he couldn't bear to stay in the rut they were in right now.  He understands that Louis is busy and exhausted doing everything he can to support their family and make sure that they live a very comfortable life.  These are facts that Harry cannot deny.  He just doesn't feel happy anymore.  He still loves Louis with all of his heart, but he doesn't feel that _pull_ anymore.  He's gotten so used to being without Louis in his everyday life: cooking, cleaning, raising Maddie.  Harry doesn't want Maddie to grow up without a father, much like Louis and Harry both had to at times.  That may be what breaks his heart the most: Louis is there, but he isn't.

In the same breath that Harry states that Louis isn't there, he feels guilt sink into his heart because he's the one that pushed Louis to follow his dream in pursuing a career as a footballer for the Rovers.  Harry's the one who pushed Louis to train religiously and attended all of his practices and games that he could, even with Maddie's birth hindering his attendance at times.

Harry explained all of this to his mother and sister, repeatedly taking breaths when he couldn't breathe enough to calm down and speak properly.  He felt horrible for being unhappy and punishing Louis and blaming him for a situation he himself created.

 

 

                                                                      

 

"What am I doing?  I have to go back.  This---it's all my fault.  It's my responsibility to fix it," Harry said as he shot up off the couch, wiping the tears from his eyes and trying to walk over to the bedroom where Maddie was sound asleep with Robin.  Gemma grabbed him just before he stepped into the room, dragging him back to the living room.  
"Sit down, H.  Sit and answer this: have you ever brought any of these concerns to Louis' attention?" Gemma asked.  
"Yes, loads of times," Harry said, setting his head in his hands as his elbows rested on his knees.  
"Okay, and what was his reaction?"  
"He said to just hold out a little longer and his contract would be up and he could quit the team," Harry said without lifting his head.  
"When was that and when does his contract end?"  
"Around Maddie's first birthday, and he renewed it six months ago for another two years," Harry responded with a sob.  
"Exactly.  You made it clear to him that you were struggling to raise your daughter by yourself and he gave you enough hope to shut you up, just to ignore your request completely," Gemma said, refilling their wine glasses.  
"Harry, dear, how much time has Louis spent with her?  How many baths has he given her by himself?  How often does he get up with her on his days home and just spend time alone with her, or give you time alone to yourself?" Anne asked gently, grabbing his hand in hers.  Harry looked down, trying to remember the last time Louis had been alone with their little girl.

Harry couldn't come up with an answer.  He didn't know why Louis hadn't really spent time alone with their daughter and it didn't make sense.  It's not as if Louis didn't know what he was doing; he was well-versed in all things children after helping his mother raise the older four of his six siblings.

Anne's phone rang in that moment.  She quickly grabbed it from the table, pressing the side button to silence the ringer.  
"It's Louis, dear.  Why didn't he call your phone?" Anne asked.  
"He probably has, over and over.  I turned it off after the fifth phone call before I made it out of town," Harry said, shaking his head.  
"I'm just going to let him know you made it here with Maddie okay so he doesn't worry himself sick," Anne said, answering the phone and walking over to step on the front porch to talk on the phone without waking up Robin and Maddie.

Gemma turned to face her brother on the couch, wrapping her arms around him.  
"Have you decided whether you're going back home in a few days or do you think you're leaving for good?" Gemma asked, unable to  think of any better way to word it, given the situation.  
Harry shook his head.  "I want to give him another chance; he's my everything--had been for nearly 10 years.  I don't want to break our family apart and I never meant to hurt him.  I just didn't know what else to do, Gem.  I knew if I tried to bring up how unhappy I was again, that he'd just sweep it under the rug and I need him to understand that I'm his spouse--he can't just dismiss how I feel because he wants to and thinks he can.  We've invested too much in this for me to be that low on his priority list, Gemma, not after the life we've built together.  I know I may be being unreasonable, but what else was I supposed to do?  Spend the rest of my life married with a broken heart and raising our daughter alone?  What would that show Madeline?" Harry choked the final words out as the heartbroken face of his daughter flashed across his mind.  What if he _did_ decide to leave Louis and Louis just stopped trying to do anything regarding the little girl at all?  What if he left her to grow up without her other father?

"Whatever you decide to do, Harry, we'll support your decision.  No matter what happens," Harry heard Robin say behind him.  harry turned to face his step-father, who had failed to return to sleep after waking to the sobs of his step-son.  
"Where's Maddie?"  Harry said, standing up to look into the bedroom.

                                                                                   

  
"She's fine, Harry.  She's surrounded by pillows.  I wouldn't have left her there if you didn't have the baby monitor right there.  Sit down, son," Robin said, gesturing for Harry to sit back down.  Harry hesitated, but eventually sat down, moving closer to Gemma so Robin could sit down with them.  
"Now, whether you decide to stay with Louis or leave is your business and your choice alone, but I think you should at least have a sit down with him and discuss how you're feeling; you owe him that much.  I understand you're feeling responsible for your situation because you encouraged him to go, but you did so with the understanding that you were a team--one that ranked above the bloody Rovers and one that paid in more valuable currency than money.  Louis has known his responsibilities from the start, as a man, as a spouse, and as a father to that precious little girl," Robin said, pointing in Maddie's direction.  "No matter the choice you make, and regardless of Louis' reaction to that choice, you have to do everything in your power to make sure that Maddie is loved, and supported, and taken care of, and that you never, ever resent her for any possible negative outcome between Louis and yourself."  
"I wouldn't dream of it.  Ever," Harry said, pulling his step-father in for a hug, thanking him for always doing his best to be a father-figure to him and Gemma.

 

"Louis, stop!  The baby is sleeping!" Harry heard his mother say as the front door opened to reveal a disheveled Louis.  He was breathless, his hair in every which way, and his eyes puffy and bloodshot from crying heavily the entire drive from Doncaster to Holmes Chapel.  
"Haz!  Please hear me out!" Louis said, rushing toward Harry, who shot up, dragging Louis into the kitchen, shushing him.  
"Keep your voice down, Lou!" Harry scolded.  "Maddie is sleeping and she does _not_ need to hear any of this!"  
"Maddie--where is she, Harry?  I need to see her, please.  Please, Harry," Louis pleaded, his hands on Harry's shoulders.  
"Louis, calm down.  You'd wake her in the state you're in right now.  We need to talk, Lou," Harry said, pushing Louis gently out of his face.  
"I promise, I'll do anything you want, Haz.  I'll quit the team this minute.  We can sell the house and find something in Holmes Chapel.  I don't care, just please don't leave, baby.  I will beg on my knees if that's what you want--just come back to me.  Please," Louis said, hyperventilating as he took Harry's hands in his, pressing them over his heart.  
"Lou, there's so much to talk about.  I don't know that it's as simple as moving or quitting the team--"  
"I will do anything it takes for you to be mine.  You are my world, Haz--my universe.  I start and end my days with you and our daughter.  There hasn't been a day in the last 10 years that my world hasn't absolutely revolved around you.  And Maddie--I would go to the ends of the Earth for that little girl--for OUR little girl, Harry.  Please, let me see her now.  I promise that we can talk about everything, I just want to set eyes on her."

Harry finally gave in, turning and walking into Anne and Robin's room, Louis hot on his heels. 

  

                                                                                  

  

The light from the TV in the bedroom illuminated the sleeping toddler's face.  
"Maddie," Louis whispered, his voice filled with relief as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks.  Louis planted soft kisses across Maddie's tiny face, thankful to see her and vowing to never be without her.  He couldn't bear to lose her or Harry.  He didn't think his heart would continue beating if he didn't have them.  
Soft sounds came from the toddler as she stirred in her sleep.  Harry gripped Louis' arm tightly, tugging him away from her to prevent her from waking up.  Once Harry and Louis were back in the kitchen, Louis got on his knees in front of Harry, taking his left hand in his own, kissing each knuckle with extra kisses on Harry's wedding ring.

"Name your terms, love.  I'll follow them a 'T'.  I can't live in a world where I don't have the two of you in my life," Louis said, his blue eyes begging the green eyes of his spouse to look into his heart and see the sincerity of his words.  
Harry's heart broke once more, seeing the pain in Louis' eyes.  Harry knew that Louis meant every word, he just didn't want to make a wrong move or jeopardize Louis' future or their future together.  
"Come here, Lou.  Let's have a cup of tea and talk this over, deal?"  
"Deal.  Go have a seat and I'll make some," Louis said, standing and pulling Harry in for a kiss that deepened after Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' neck, Louis' hands finding Harry's waist as he pulled their bodies closer.  They broke the kiss, breathless.  
"Sit down, babe.  I'll bring out the tea when it's done," Louis said, kissing Harry again before releasing him.  Harry sat on the loveseat adjacent tot he couch that held his mother and sister.  Robin had gone back to bed to be with Maddie.

Harry gave a sad smile as he looked at his mother and sister.  He could tell that Gemma was in full protective mode over her little brother now that Louis was here.  Anne was just happy that Harry and Louis were going to get the chance to talk things through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ha-" Louis choked out, a lump rising in his throat. "How can you say I'm gone too much, and in the same breath, say that we need time apart? That doesn't make any sense Haz. This is bullshit!" Louis said, pushing Harry's hands away that were reaching forward to calm him.  
> "Please keep your voice down, you'll wake Maddie," Harry scolded.
> 
> Louis felt like he was punched in the gut. Maddie. What was going to happen to his little princess? What would she think about not seeing her Papa every day? About not seeing her Papa and Daddy together for who knows how long? Louis let out a strangled sob, his hand quickly covering his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Sorry for the lapse in updates. Just needed to be in the mindset for this one, and I've been trying to get some done on my other works.
> 
> I don't own any images used!

 

 

                                                                                                     

 

Harry thought hard about his next words.  He new that he needed to put himself in check because this wasn't all Louis' fault, but he wanted to be clear with Louis as to what he was unhappy about.

"C'mon, H.  Out with it," Louis said, nervously bouncing his knee.  
"Um...so, I'm not going to try to keep Maddie from you.  You can see her whenever you want, Lou.  Just let me know in advance, and I'll make sure that we don't already have plans, and that she has everything she needs to do whatever you want to do," Harry said, his hand on Louis' knee to hold his attention--until Louis pushed it off after realizing the direction Harry was going in.  
"What do you mean 'plans'?  'Have her ready'?  We'll be going together, won't we?" Louis asked, his voice high and tight as his heart began pounding in his chest.  Harry took a moment before slowly shaking his head.  "You're--you're not coming home?"  Louis stood up, his mind jammed between panic and angry as he ran his hands through his hair.  
"Not just yet, Lou.  I need to--listen to me, please," Harry said, getting up and touching Louis' shoulder to spin him around to face him, "Please hear me out.  We can't move past this if you aren't even willing to listen to me.  Sit back down," Harry said, his voice stern as he pulled Louis down to sit next to him on the couch.  "I think we need some time apart, Louis.  I'm going to stay in Holmes Chapel for a bit, if Mum and Robin will have me," Harry said, looking at his mother tentatively.  
"Of course, Harry.  Anything you need.  ALL of you," Anne said, smiling sadly.  
"Ha-" Louis choked out, a lump rising in his throat.  "How can you say I'm gone too much, and in the same breath, say that we need time apart?  That doesn't make any sense Haz.  This is bullshit!" Louis said, pushing Harry's hands away that were reaching forward to calm him.  
"Please keep your voice down, you'll wake Maddie," Harry scolded.

Louis felt like he was punched in the gut. _Maddie_.  What was going to happen to his little princess?  What would she think about not seeing her Papa every day?  About not seeing her Papa and Daddy together for who knows how long?  Louis let out a strangled sob, his hand quickly covering his mouth.

"I just need some time to myself, Louis.  I don't know how long I'll need right now, but it's time I have to take."  
"Time away from being my husband?" Louis asked sadly.  
"Time to be me again.  I'm still you're husband, Lou.  I want you to know that I'm not doing this to be with anyone else or to being anyone else into Maddie's life.  I just need to be by myself for a little bit.  I've completely lost myself since Maddie was born.  I love our little girl.  I'll always be her Daddy and you will always be her Papa.   I wouldn't change our family for anything.  I just--," Harry stopped, letting out a frustrated breath.  "Do you know how long it's been since I've written, Louis?  Since I've sang?  Sure, I sing to Maddie, but I haven't actually SANG in so long.  I have zero adult interaction or time to myself.  I just need to make sure that I'm still Harry.  I am completely consumed by Maddie to the point that I'm not even _me_ anymore.  I have not had a _minute_ to myself since we brought her home from the hospital. I--I was so terrified of failing her that I failed myself in the process...I failed you," Harry said, covering his mouth with his hand as tears streamed down his face.  He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself.  "I've let us both down, Lou.  This is all just as much my fault, but I'm afraid that, if I don't take the time to do this now, I'll never be able to, and I would rather die than let our little girl down," Harry said, losing all resolve, sobbing with his head in his hands.

"Oh, Haz," Louis whispered, wrapping his arms around Harry's shaking body, doing his best to reign in his heartache and do everything he can to comfort and console his spouse.   _It's do or die_ , Louis thought to himself.   _If I don't step up now, I could lose my family forever_.

 

 

                                                                                                   

 

Louis couldn't even bring himself to think about a world without Harry.  They had been together so long that losing Harry wasn't an option.  He felt that his heart would literally break if he ever lost him.

"H, listen to me.  Look at me, babe," Louis begged, cupping Harry's face between his hands, forcing Harry's eyes to meet his.  "Harry Edward Tomlinson," Louis said with a tearful smile.  "Harry, you are my life, my love, my always.  I would move Heaven and Earth for you and for our daughter.  You are what keeps my world turning every day.  I will do anything--ANYTHING-- to make you happy and to make you feel whole again.  Don't forget where you belong.  However long you need, babe, take it.  I will be right here, and I will do anything I can to help and to prove to you that I will always be here for you and Maddie.  Tell me what I have to do to make sure our family lasts forever," Louis and Harry brought their foreheads together.  Harry fisted his hand in Louis' hair as Louis wiped Harry's tears from his cheek with the pads of his thumbs.  Harry let out a small, wet laugh as he brought Louis in for a tight hug.

_Thank god he understands_ , Harry thought.  Louis placed a chaste kiss to Harry's neck, pulling him in tightly to his body.  They held each other for a moment before finally agreeing to let go and have a conversation about their family getting on the right track.

  

                                                                           

 

Save

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne wrapped her arms around Louis as a new wave of sobs wracked through his body. All she could do was hope and pray that this was only temporary and that they made it through this a stronger couple.  
> "These things happen, dear. You can make it through this, I promise," Anne whispered into Louis hair as she rocked him back and forth in her arms.  
> "W-why did it h-h-have to be us? I can't lose h-him, Anne," Louis gasped in between sobs. "My world will s-stop spinning without h-him."  
> "Oh, Lou," Anne said, kissing the side of Louis' head and hugging him tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience! Hope you like it!
> 
> I do not own any pictures used! The pictures of the little girl are Lux, Lou Teasdale's daughter.

 

                                                                    


 

Gemma and Anne decided to bid Harry and Louis goodnight, exchanging kisses and hugs before running off to their respective rooms for the night. 

An awkward silence began to blossom between the spouses, unsure of the next step.  Louis stretched his arms above his head, a yawn escaping his lips.  It's been such a long day.

"I'll grab you some pillows and a blanket if you want to grab some pajamas from my bag.  I'm not about to make you drive home at this hour, or with the state you're in," Harry said, heading for the linen closet.

Louis stood from the couch, walking over to the bag before picking it up and up the first few steps.  "There should be plenty in the room from the last time we spent the weekend here, Haz," Louis said, unzipping Harry's bag.

"There is, but you don't have anything to use," Harry said quietly, eyeing his tired husband, whose face seemed to have aged years over the span of a few hours, his eyes puffy and his skin pale.

 

"What do you mean?  Won't I be sleeping next to you?" Louis asked, his voice inching up a few octaves.  Harry shook his head, turning back to the closet and rummaging through the items on the shelves.  "You're telling me we can't have one last night lying next to each other?" Louis dropped the bag and walked over to Harry, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Don't make this harder than it already is, Lou," Harry said, turning away from Louis' touch.  Louis retracted his hand.  He was aching to touch his husband, to make this better.  He kept waiting for the moment that he would wake up from this terrible dream, rolling over and wrapping his arms tightly around his loving spouse who didn't pull away when he moved to touch his face.  And yet, this nightmare continued.

"And YOU are my home, Haz.  I couldn't give a shit less about that damn house if you're not in it," Louis said, his voice cracking with frustration as he walked back towards the house, facing away from Harry as he attempted to come to terms with the new information.

 

 

                                                                


 

 

Harry clenched his jaw and continued his search for comfortable pillows and a warm blanket for Louis.  He let out a sigh.  Neither of them were going to sleep for shit without the other, especially knowing that they were under the same roof and not next to one another.  

  
_I have to do this_ , Harry reminded himself.  He knew that this time away from each other had the potential to make or break them, but it was worth a shot if there was even the slightest possibility of breaking the mundane cycle their lives had become--as long as there was a chance they could come out of this intact and stronger, he was willing to try anything.

Harry paused in the hallway, taking a moment to gather himself before continuing into the living room.

 

"Here you go, Lou," Harry said with the steadiest voice he could manage.

"Thank you," Louis whispered, his fingers brushing the back of Harry's hand as he accepted the bedding.  He turned towards the couch and began making up where he would be laying down for the night.  He was fully aware that sleep wouldn't be in the cards tonight.

Harry emerged from his parents room, holding a sleeping Maddie.  Louis' heart stopped at the sight of his sleeping little girl.  He dropped the bedding, walking over to Harry who was about to ascend the stairs to his childhood bedroom, stopping when he felt a hand softly touch the space between his shoulders.  Turning slightly, Harry was met with the begging eyes of his heartbroken husband.  

"Haz, can I at least kiss her goodnight?" Louis whispered, careful not to wake their daughter. Harry nodded, positioning himself so that Louis was able to kiss Maddie's precious cheeks.  She whimpered, tucking her little face into Harry's neck.

Any other time, the pair would have laughed it off and chalked it up to Maddie being tired.  Tonight, this innocent gesture further broke both fo their hearts and only solidified Harry's theory that Maddie spent entirely too much time away from Louis.

"It's been a long day for all of us.  Goodnight, Lou.  Get some rest," Harry said, turning and heading upstairs.  Louis stood there at the base of the staircase in stunned silence.  His world was falling apart around him.  He turned around after a few moments and continued making up his bed.  Tears Louis thought had all been shed came flowing down his cheeks as if a dam had burst.  Louis bit his pillow to muffle his sobs.  He wanted to scream, his body writhing as the pain from his heart consumed his mind and body.

 

Anne walked out of her bedroom, heading to the kitchen for another cup of tea to calm her nerves when she saw Louis on the couch.  She kneeled next to him, placing a soft hand on Louis shoulder.  Having thought he was alone, Louis jumped at the contact, hoping to see Harry's face when he opened his eyes.  Anne wrapped her arms around Louis as a new wave of sobs wracked through his body.  All she could do was hope and pray that this was only temporary and that they made it through this a stronger couple.

"These things happen, dear.  You can make it through this, I promise," Anne whispered into Louis hair as she rocked him back and forth in her arms.

"W-why did it h-h-have to be us?  I can't lose h-him, Anne," Louis gasped in between sobs.  "My world will s-stop spinning without h-him."

"Oh, Lou," Anne said, kissing the side of Louis' head and hugging him tighter.

 

 

 

Upstairs, Harry changed into his pajamas after laying Maddie down and surrounding her with pillows once again.  He crawled into his childhood bed next to his daughter, finally giving up on trying to get comfortable because he didn't want to toss and turn too much and end up waking up Maddie.  Harry, safe in the four of the room that had been his haven for many years before he met Louis, let go of the emotions he had been holding in.  A sob escaped his throat, and he quickly covered his mouth, turning into his pillow as his sobs echoed in the nearly empty room.  He struggled with this thoughts.  Was this the right thing to do?  Is this really what's best for Maddie?  Can they survive this harsh break?

 

Harry held his breath when he felt Maddie turn over, facing him.  Her little eyes fluttered open, focusing on Harry's red and tear stained face in the dimly lit room.

"Daddy?  Did you have a nightmare?  I protect you from the monsters, Daddy," Maddie said, crawling over the pillows and wrapping her arms around Harry's neck, attempting to comfort her the shattered heart of her father.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Harry whispered, pulling his daughter's small body to his chest.  He rubbed soothing circles into her back (he meant for them to soothe her, but the repetitive motion gave him something else to focus on while he righted his mind).  Soon, the small snores from Maddie were the only sounds in the room.  Harry closed his eyes and did his best to get some rest, knowing tomorrow would be a difficult day.

 

 

                                                                                   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis turned away from her and made his way up the stairs, pausing when he reached the slightly ajar door of his husband's childhood room. He smiled to himself when he heard the soft snores of Harry and Maddie. Any other day, Louis would've loved to climb into the bed with his family, wrapping them in his arms and enjoying blissful sleep for just a bit longer. He knows he won't be able to do that today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

 

                                                                                  

 

Louis woke up after a fitful night of sleep when he heard the whistle of the tea kettle.  He opened his eyes, hearing Gemma curse under her breath as she quickly removed the kettle from the stove, silencing the sound.  Louis stood up, stretching with his arms over his head and wincing at the dull ache of his back.  He hated sleeping on the couch.  Gemma turned towards Louis when she heard him shuffling into the kitchen.

"Sorry to wake you, Lou.  Not used to having other people in the house in the mornings," Gemma apologized, setting down a few cups on the counter and turning to wrap her arms around his neck.  
"No use 'pologizing, Gem.  Can't wake someone who wasn't really sleeping," Louis said, snuggling into the crook of his sister-in-law's neck.  
"Oh, Lou, You'll make it through this.  It's just a rough patch," Gemma said, hugging him tightly.  Louis didn't respond.  He didn't know what was going to happen or what the day would bring.  "Why don't you go wake up Harry and Maddie?  I'll finish getting the tea ready," Gemma said, pulling back from Louis and rubbing his upper arms before turning back to the stove.

Louis turned away from her and made his way up the stairs, pausing when he reached the slightly ajar door of his husband's childhood room. He smiled to himself when he heard the soft snores of Harry and Maddie.  Any other day, Louis would've loved to climb into the bed with his family, wrapping them in his arms and enjoying blissful sleep for just a bit longer.  He knows he won't be able to do that today.

He gently pushed open the door, cringing at the squeak of the floorboards as he stepped in.  The sight in front of him brought tears to his eyes.  Maddie had managed to climb over her father in the night, snuggling into his back with her pacifier in her mouth, sound asleep.  Harry had his arm draped over a pillow to his left side, Louis' side of the bed.  Not knowing when he would be able to look at his loves like this again, Louis couldn't resist snapping a picture on his phone.

Harry woke to the sound of Louis' phone capture the picture, his eyes fluttering open and catching sight of Louis wiping tears from his eyes.  
"What's the matter, Babe?" Harry asked, rubbing his eyes, his voice rough with sleep, his accent always thickest when he was tired.  Louis shook his head as he closed his eyes and drew in a shaky breath to steady himself.  Today is going to be absolute shit, and it would be every single day that his family wasn't intact.

 

                                                                                             

 

It was hard for Harry to see his spouse in this state.  He could tell that Louis was having a hard time, judging by how ragged he looked.  Louis' hair was in every direction, his eyes looked raw, and he had his arms wrapped around himself as if he were trying to hold himself together.  Harry felt horrible knowing he was the cause of Louis' pain, but he couldn't help but think of all the times he looked exactly as Louis did in this moment and Louis was nowhere to be found.  The months of Maddie's teething, up all hours of the night, running on zero sleep and his ears ringing from her nonstop screaming, the stress of trying to potty train Maddie in the public eye, and struggling with allowing Maddie to express herself while dealing with endless criticism from the media and fans. 

Then, Harry felt even worse for having these ill thoughts towards Louis.  Harry had been the one who encouraged Louis to pursue his dream while he put his body on the line to provide for his family and the lifestyle they had chosen to live with Harry being a stay-at-home father to their daughter.  This fucking sucks.

"Tea's ready downstairs, Haz.  Just wanted to come get you and Mads so you could start your day," Louis said, his voice cracking on several occasions.  Harry nodded solemnly.  
"I'll bring her down in just a minute if you want to feed her breakfast," Harry offered, turning around to look at their daughter, laughing softly when he saw the position she had gotten herself into.  
"I'd love that.  Do you mind if I wake her up and change her?" Louis asked, squeezing his arms tighter around himself as he waited or Harry's answer.  
"Sure, if you want to," Harry laughed.  "She's a bit cranky in the mornings." 

Harry did his best to slide out of bed without disturbing their daughter.  Louis nearly whined at the sight of the skin exposed by Harry's shirt riding up due to his own night of restless sleep.  He'd always loved Harry's hips and tummy, now accented with faint stretchmarks and scar from the c-section from Maddie's birth.  He knew that Harry had his moments where he wasn't proud of his body like he used to be, but Louis would always worship every inch of Harry, no matter what he looked like, simply because it was Harry.  
Catching Louis' line of sight, Harry pulled his shirt down to cover his stomach, suddenly uncomfortable around his partner of nearly ten years.  Louis frowned, but continued to move towards Maddie, hooking his hands under her arms as he deftly picked her up, pulling her into his chest, kissing her hair and rocking her gently like he did when she was a baby.

Eyes still closed Maddie reached a hand behind Louis' head, tanging her fingers in his hair to soothe herself back to sleep.  She opened her eyes when she finally realized that Harry wasn't the one holding her.  She pulled back quickly, nearly throwing herself out of Louis' arms as she struggled to get a look at him, her eyes wide open.  Her lip trembled when she saw that it indeed was not Harry, but felt slightly better when she saw that it was her Papa.

"Good morning, my little love.  How did you sleep?" Louis said softly, still rocking her back and forth.  
"Morning, Papa," Maddie whispered, rubbing her eyes with her tiny fists.

 

                                                                                                   

  
"Are you ready for some breakfast?"  Louis asked, plastering a cheerful smile on his face as he did his best to convince his little princess that everything was right with the world and that this breakfast would be no different than any other.  Maybe he should try convincing himself of that. too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey, Princess.  Do you want to come sit with Daddy and Papa to eat breakfast?" Louis asked, his heart racing.  Maddie turned to look at Anne with a curious look on her face, only agreeing when Anne told her it was okay, giving her a gentle smile.  
> Maddie hit the ground running to Harry, who gladly picked her up, peppering her cheeks with kisses as her giggles echoed in the small kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspiration:  Mariana's Trench - One Love
> 
> Hey, everyone! Sorry for the long break, but here's the last chapter to Close as Strangers. 
> 
> I don't own any pictures used!
> 
> Hope you like it!

                                                 

 

Harry had already changed and made his way downstairs to greet his family.  Freshly changed and with her hair in a beanie, Maddie made her way down the stairs while holding Louis' hand.  Once she reached the bottom, she took off towards Anne, greeting her with a tight hug and kiss.  Robin put down his spatula, stepping away from the stove and resting his chin on Anne's shoulder, next to Maddie.

"What, no love for your Grandad, my little Madeline?" he teased with a pout.  Maddie hugged Anne tighter, giggling as she peeked around Anne shyly before making grabby hands to Robin.  Everyone laughed at the lighthearted moment, but Louis looked as if he were going to cry again as he leaned against the doorway of the kitchen.

Not hearing Louis' laugh, Harry turned, his eyes settling on Louis.  He pulled the chair out next to him and patted the seat.  "Come sit, Lou,” Harry said with a soft smile.  Louis tilted his head as if to ask him if he was sure.  Harry nodded and patted the seat again.  Louis settled into the chair, scrubbing his tired face with his hands.  Comfort washed over him when he felt Harry's arm wrap around his shoulders, pulling him into Harry's chest.

Louis looked up and into Harry's eyes, vibrant green as always, but darkened slightly with a tinge of sadness.  He could tell Harry was conflicted about the situation.  Louis wanted his family back so badly, but he was willing to give Harry time to get this all figured out.  All he could do was promise to be there when he came back 'round and be a better spouse and father.

Robin set the food out on the table and everyone held hands, Anne leading a short prayer before everyone began serving themselves.  Harry handed Louis a small plate, Maddie's food, and nodded his head towards Maddie, who was sitting in Anne's lap.  Taking the hint, Louis walked over to Maddie, kneeling slightly so that he was eye level with her.

"Papa!" Maddie squealed, giggling when everyone smiled at her.

"Hey, Princess.  Do you want to come sit with Daddy and Papa to eat breakfast?" Louis asked, his heart racing.  Maddie turned to look at Anne with a curious look on her face, only agreeing when Anne told her it was okay, giving her a gentle smile.

Maddie hit the ground running to Harry, who gladly picked her up, peppering her cheeks with kisses as her giggles echoed in the small kitchen.  Louis smiled, loving the scene before him, but feeling a bit put out that their little girl passed him to go to Harry.  Louis sat back in his chair, about to turn back to his food when he felt someone poking his upper arm.  Maddie, extended in Harry's arms, was poking Louis' arm with a wide smile on her face.

"Come 'ere, Princess," Louis said, smiling as he lifted her from Harry's hands.  He sat her on his left leg, her legs draped across his lap so that he could use his right hand to feed them both.

Breakfast passed with excited chatter amongst the adults, Maddie's small eyes bouncing from person to person as she watched them speak.

Louis hugged her to his chest, kissing her temple before whispering, "You're just like your daddy."  Maddie nodded excitedly with a smile.

Having finished their breakfast, Louis scooted his chair back a bit, situating Maddie so that her back was to his chest, wrapping his arms around her middle.  He gently rocked her side to side, listening to the conversations as Maddie wrapped her hands around his index fingers, lulled to sleep.

Harry smiled at sight in front of him.  His family conversing happily and being together.  He wanted this to be how it was all of the time, rather than just holidays or special occasions.  Harry was brought out of his thoughts by a light touch on his arm.  He looked up to see Louis' hand on him, a twinkle of sorts in his eyes.

"If you put her down for a nap, I'll get started on dishes," Louis whispered slowly, trying not to wake the sleeping beauty in his lap.

Harry returned his smile, nodding before standing up and collecting Maddie, who whimpered at the movement and loss of warmth, but she was quickly quieted when Harry swayed as he walked, rubbing her back softly before walking to Anne and Robin's room, surrounding her with pillows and blankets and turning the TV on cartoons at a low volume, leaving the door cracked open.

When he made his way back through the living room, Robin, Anne, and Gemma had already relocated to the couches in front of the TV and Louis already had the dishwater running while he cleared off the table.  Harry took his place at the sink and began to wash the dishes.  Louis finished his task silently before making his way over to Harry's side, beginning to rinse and dry the dishes.

By the time they had finished, there had not been a word said between them, despite the gentle brushes of skin by their hands, shoulders, and hips.  They had both been deep in thought, trying to figure out what they wanted and how to communicate that to each other.

Harry was leaning with his back against the sink, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched his family when Louis mimicked his actions, trying to see what Harry was seeing in hopes of catching onto his train of thought.

"I'll do anything you want, Haz," Louis finally said.  "Just promise me I won't lose my family."

Harry nodded at Louis' words., looking into his husband's blue eyes, dark with worry and sadness.  He hated this, every minute of it, and he knew Louis did, too.  It's not like he chose to spend so much time away from them; he didn't cause this distance on purpose.

"I think I know how to make this work without leaving or doing anything drastic," Harry said, his accent thick as he spoke slowly, like he always does when he's deep in thought and trying to convey what he's thinking to someone.

"I'll do _anything_ ," Louis repeated, turning to stand in front of Harry now.  Harry uncrossed his arms, his large coming to settle on Louis' hips as Louis placed his hands on Harry's chest.

"Since we've been here, I've been reminded that you _do_ love us, and I hope you know we love you.  It's the same thing with our families," Harry said, pausing to look at his parents and sibling curled up in the living room, a small smile coming to his lips.

                                                 

 

"I do, Haz.  I love our giant family more than anything in the world.  You lot, you're what keeps me going," Louis said, playing with the curls at the base of Harry's neck.

"I see that now.  That's why I think we _all_ need to make an effort to be together more often," Harry stated.

Louis nodded solemnly.  It's true.  Maybe this wouldn't have happened--maybe Harry wouldn't have felt so isolated if he would have had time with his family.

"I just think that we need to get together more often with our families, together and separately, ya know?  Just because we have our own little family,  it doesn't mean that they all go away," they both smiled softly.  They loved their little family, but they both miss their families dearly.

"I think so, too, Harry.  Your parents love spending time with her, and you know my mum would love to spend the day with her.  She could be around all of my siblings, and actually experience other kids, even though they're a bit older.  She'd love it," Louis said, tucking the hair behind Harry's right ear before cupping his face with his hands.

"And maybe we should have a day for just you and Maddie, even if it's just once a month.  I think you both need that time together," Harry said, Louis nodding in agreement.

He was slightly nervous about spending time with her alone, but he had helped raise his siblings and he loves his little girl.  They should make out just fine.

"What about you, Haz?  You said you were needing some time to yourself, what about dropping her off at my mum's or finding a sitter, and signing up for something.  Maybe a weekly book club or summat like that."

"Yeah, or maybe the gym," Harry chuckled, thinking about the weight he had gained with Maddie.

"Whatever you want, love.  I’ll do anything to make you happy.  Just talk to me and we'll figure it all out."

Harry let it all sink in for moment before he nodded.

"I guess it's all settled then," he smiled.

"It's a deal, babe," Louis agreed.

"It's not a deal unless it's sealed with a kiss," Harry smirked.  Louis laughed, pulling Harry's lips to his, kissing slowly and smiling into each other's lips.  Louis was the first to break the kiss, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck as Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist, hugging each other tightly.

"I've missed you so much, Haz.  You have no idea how much it means to me that you've changed your mind," Louis confessed, kissing Harry's lips again, more chastely this time.

                                                 

 

"I just couldn't stop thinking 'what if the one true love's the only one that you get?', and I knew that I couldn't let you go.  What we have, Lou.... It's not something you see every day.  I don't know that I could go through the day knowing the love that we have and that I walked away without a fight."

"It's not in your bones to do anything without a fight, Styles," Louis laughed, reminiscing of the arguments they used to have, both playful and true.

"It's 'Tomlinson' to you, sir," Harry squinted playfully before laughing.

"I don't know how the world is still standing with two Tommo men living in it," Anne laughed wetly, wiping her eyes as she tucked herself into Robin’s chest.  Everyone laughed at her comment, a weight feeling as though it has been lifted from their hearts.

The sweet moment was interrupted a moment later by the soft cries of a sleepy Maddie in the other room.  Instinctively, Harry stood straight, ready to make his way to her.

“I’ve got her, love,” Louis said, kissing Harry’s cheek before jogging off to Robin and Anne’s bedroom to comfort their daughter.

And everything began to fall right back into place.

 

                                                       

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The more I tried to dig into the story, the more it turned into fluff, which made it harder to actually "force" them to take a break.  Sorry!
> 
>  
> 
> Let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


End file.
